For some time now, I thought that either I was the unluckiest or luckiest person in the world due to certain occurrences in my life. On the one hand, I have always managed to surpass the many challenges that my life decided to bring me. On the other hand, these same challenges burdened me and made me feel like I’d be forever stuck struggling and remaining unhappy. Life is about struggle sometimes, and that’s something that I’ve come to understand. However, I no longer believe that I will remain unhappy. God has given me a beautiful son and a daughter who will be entering the world very soon. When I think about my children, I think about the fact that I’m very blessed to be responsible for two lives that came from me. There’s nothing more I could ever ask for. Anything else would be my doing.

I’d love to live comfortably and the time has come for me to start preparing to venture away from my family (my two sisters) who are both grown and I feel no longer need me. Sure, I will be there if they do so happen to need me, but I don’t want to be stuck residing with them forever. I believe that the conception of my daughter was a sign that it’s time that I stop taking care of grown women and do what’s best for me. I’m more than willing to leave them everything that they need to start being responsible. I’ll be starting from scratch and they’ll have the opportunity to start with something. I’m more than capable of this change, of course. I have been taking care of them by myself for almost 5 years now. I truly believe that 2009 will be the year for me.

Life
Changes, Life

I’m finally back on DSL! Dial-up was seriously killing me and I was incredibly bored. I plan on making some changes to this site as desired but they will mostly be gradual changes. I have been looking for an AJAX Comments plugin. I have one but I don’t really like it but I have seen one around on other sites but I’m not sure which plugin it is. I’ve tried numerous others, but for some reason they aren’t working for me. I guess I will figure the problem out later.

This upcoming presidential election is a popular one and I find myself more indulged in politics than I have ever been. One thing that I don’t like is the fact that people are going off on tangents and spreading rumors about Barack Obama that are obviously attempts to make him look like a terrible person. Of course, this is a common campaigning tactic but nonetheless, some of the rumors are over the top. It seems that people are very caught up in skin color instead of what these candidates have to offer as our leaders. It’s very sad and sickening. I’ve even heard people say things about McCain being old and going to “die soon”. Why would anyone say something so nasty about someone? I’m not even a supporter of McCain and I just don’t agree with some of the things people are saying.

I haven’t been up to much during my unexpected hiatus. I am proud to say that I’m glad that summer is coming to an end. This heat is killing me! All of these storms people are having frighten me and I feel so bad for the people who are being inconvenienced because of these storms and such. Last night, my neighborhood had a blackout for over an hour. It was terribly hot, irritating and I was incredibly cranky. Mostly everyone was outside on their steps or porches wondering when the problem would be fixed. My son was scared and I had a bit of a hard time calming him down. I suppose it was all of the commotion going on because of the blackout that frightened him so much.

Going to browse the net.

Life
Life, World

Dealing with dial-up for the last couple of days has to be one of the most frustrating things ever. I remember back in the day before I even considered purchasing dsl, dial-up was my best friend. Needless to say, once I actually got dsl service, I was determined to never look dial-up in the eyes again. Well, here I am, using dial-up. I’ve become patient because I know that on Wednesday, my good ole dsl service will be back and it’ll be a lot faster than what I had before. You guys don’t understand how frustrating it is to be on bed rest with limited options for activities and to have to use dial-up. A couple of times I wanted to just say fuck it and wait until Wednesday but boredom definitely got the best of me. Not to mention that I missed chatting with my online buddies and all of that other good stuff. Once I get my dsl service back, I’ll be making some much needed changes around here as well as on my livejournal page.

I have been an emotional wreck lately and much of it has to do with the pregnancy I believe. I have never been too emotional. Although, I am known to become very irritable and moody at times. Now I find myself getting sad and upset over almost anything and even taking my anger out on people who’s only motive is to make me feel better. I feel bad in the end of course, but I can’t seem to tame these wild emotions. I honestly cannot wait to have this baby because I’m just tired of being pregnant. Not to mention that I can’t even do anything because I’m on bed rest, which is even more frustrating. I find it difficult to sleep at night because I can’t even find a comfortable sleeping position. Then again, I’ve always had sleeping troubles.

It seems the more I associate myself with people, the more I realize why I was in my shell to begin with. For the most part I have trouble comprehending why people behave in such outrageous ways. I have always been a logical and reasonable person with a pretty good grasp on reality. A lot of people seem to live in fantasy worlds and wonder why things become increasingly difficult for them to the point where they cannot mentally handle certain happenings. I don’t believe that I’m insensitive to anyone and whatever they may go through. I simply remark on the fact that sometimes you have to be more responsible with your life which also comes with being able to deal certain things that occur in it. It’s completely understandable that some people are not as strong as others. It’s actually something that I’ve recently come to accept. I endured a lot as a teenager and young adult that a lot of people tell me would have been completely out of the question for them. I guess that’s why I usually have a hard time coming to terms with how people behave. Although I joke around a lot and things of that sort, I’m a pretty serious person when it comes to life because I believe it should always be cherished and enjoyed. When people ask me how I am able to endure half of the things that I have/do, I just reply that it’s a gift from God.

Life
Life, Pregnancy