As I attempt to put my feelings and emotions into words, I come across a road block.
One of which, was created by myself.
When did I build this? What caused it?
Those are the questions that constantly run through my mind, consuming time.
I was forced to grow up quick during my youth, I had to regroup.
On the one hand there lied damnation, on the other, salvation.
I chose the latter, forgetting my childhood, leaving it behind I was blind.
I never knew it would affect me later on, now I’m scorned.
I often dreamed of what things would be like if I experienced the freedom of a young lady.
Those fantasies quickly faded, and forced me back to the present, I regret it.
I was heavily indulged in acts of altruism, I couldn’t walk away, I had to stay.
If I hadn’t, my kin would have been lost, I was willing to avoid this at any cost.
It was in my nature to nurture and to think of everything other than myself, they needed my help.
Now misery has engulfed me, I feel like there’s something missing in my life.
Flowers quickly wither before my eyes, taking me by surprise.
Life as I’d always known it to be, suddenly seemed meaningless, I needed a solution.
Each brick, symbolic of my reasons to reside in this lifestyle of mine.
They began to pile up, blocking these miserable feelings.
From now on I would move forward and never look back, my dignity intact.
I’ve always refused to be any less than I was capable of being.
I refused to believe in anything that I was incapable of seeing.
This pushed me harder and made me stronger.
I know my mother is proud of me, smiling radiantly, showing off her wings.
Now I face this brick wall, but I’m standing tall above it all.
I can see my past, present and future.
I see the progress and I smile because I’m proud of myself.